Tuesday, March 18, 2014

10 Day Challenge - Day 7

The interest I had initially in this 10 day challenge is kind of wearing off on me. It feels like am beating around the bush. Nevertheless, I would like to finish it, rather than abandon it having come this far.

So do you need four ways to make me walk away in the other direction when I see you? Here it comes.

    1.Egotistical: Who isn't self obsessed? In healthy amounts it is okay. But I get annoyed easily when someone acts like they are superior and demean others.  This attitude just oozes out in every action of theirs. A definite NO NO for me.

    2.Superficial –Another character I can’t tolerate. I don’t see the purpose of putting on a mask and hiding behind it. Just doesn't work for me, I can see right through it but I may not call it. And then it’s a ‘NO ENTRY’ sign that waits for them.

    3. This one is tricky. Oversensitive – I feel like I am walking on egg shells and don’t know how much to tell so that they won’t feel bad. I don’t like a conversation to be like a battle, like I need to think about each word I have to say. I have a problem with people being Insensitive too. In this case I fail to connect. Finding the balance is the key

    4.  Violent, Aggressive, ill-mannered: Be one of them and I will not respect you. I detest such people and would just like to curl up in a ball and hide. 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

10 Day Challenge - Day 6

Care too much you get hurt, care too little you lose them.  But even if you are careful you can’t stop yourself from caring for the people in your life. I can’t remember of how it was instilled in me, but I have always heard my mother say even as a toddler I cared and wouldn’t eat anything without asking if everyone else had eaten. That was 25 years ago. Now I gobble up everything and don’t leave anything for anyone. I like to believe I am a caring person, even though most times I act like I don’t give a damn. I care about all the nice people in my world, to pick just five out of the lot is injustice.

    1.       Needless to say,I care about my family. We may not see eye to eye, we may have our share of tiffs, we may take each other for granted but it is all based on a tacit understanding that FAMILY is  for keeps; that any limb you climb out off, will still be there later for you to climb back. I may have given them a lot to endure, when I lived life on my own terms. That was not my intention; I just wanted them to come to terms with it. I may not say it to them often but I do care, and like any daughter I respect what they have done for me.

     2.       When your better half is also your best friend you care too much to let go. It is obvious isn’t it? You don’t decide to spend the rest of your life with a person you don’t care about.   

       3.       My second family, Friends. Like they say "Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what". And that is exactly what friends do. Friends play a paramount role in my life. I reach out to them more often than I do with my family.  I care for each and every one of them and would take that extra mile to be there for them whenever in need.

         4.       In another two months I start my journey with TFI.  Some people say it is a life changing experience, some that it is backbreaking and not a cakewalk. But one thing that keeps echoing in my ears, is what my interviewer told me “In the beginning, you are going to fail with your students EVERY DAY, you are going to fail until you find your way”. I already care about the students who are going to be an integral part of my life for the next two years. Teachers play a significant role in molding a child’s life and I really hope I succeed and can make a difference in a few lives.

           5.    What about people who don’t fall in any of these categories? I still care. For my extended family, for my neighbors, For people in crisis, For somebody’s loss , For any victim who has suffered brutality, For survivors of a natural calamity , For those whose sufferings I hear or read about.  I am compassionate, empathetic and considerate. I may not reach out to comfort them, or send a huge cheque their way but if it is in my hands to be by their side I would. It is during such times that we need to reinforce the belief that we are benevolent, that humanity still exists. A small act of caring can turn lives around. 

If you are wondering what it is I don't care about then, it is what people think about me ;)

Friday, March 14, 2014

10 Day Challenge - Day 5

Whatever happened to ‘don’t cry over spilled milk?'. Common, 6 things I wish I hadn't done? What use of going over that? Fine, I will try.
      1.I just wish I had been more aware and perceptive of the varied options available when it comes to choosing what you want for a career, at sweet 16. If I was clear about what I wanted I probably wouldn't have succumbed to the only one that was offered to me, Engineering!

       2.I used to go to French classes at Pune. I wish I hadn't stopped taking them. Actually I wish I hadn't left Pune at all.

       3.I wish I hadn't lost touch with my childhood friends. We wrote all the time, I still have those letters. But then with years it stopped. Maybe if there was whatsapp, it would have been different? Or that’s just how life is?

       4.Oh, here is another one. I wish I hadn't wasted money on a few clothes. I have a few that I spent a good amount on and I don't use them .Could have found a better use for that money.

Gosh, they are all so lame! I think I really take ”Forget regret, or life is yours to miss” seriously.

       5.Okay this one probably is the saving grace. I wish I hadn't smoked pot. I nearly got scared to death. In fact I was delusional about going to die. And I could have lived without experiencing it. Sure I had a good laugh about it the next day. Still, never again. Now would I be in trouble for talking about it? I could be talking about chocolate pot too right?

 I am thinking really hard!


Okay I don’t have any more. This was difficult; I probably will use this point as buffer in another   topic.

"If only”. Those must be the two saddest words in the world. I have no regrets in my life. Because I think that everything happens for a reason. If you go through hard times becuase of what you did, it only makes you a much stronger person. And that may be why I was at a loss of words today.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

10 Day challenge - Day 4

“Allow yourself the time and space to let your mind wander and your imagination fly”. The imagination part is true; it can take various forms and shapes. If I list out my imagination I probably would appear queer. So the best thing would be to list down the sane thoughts that often rent a little space in my head always.

  1.“He who has a why to live for ,can bear almost any how.” It is the one thing that troubles me I haven’t figured out the purpose of my life. I have a deep belief that everyone is here for a reason, like to leave a mark of your own in the world and my mind often wanders trying to figure out what it is. 

   2. I design a lot in my head. Sometimes it is a saree, sometimes it’s a dress, sometime’s a kurti, sometime’s a house. That’s another dream I live in, that someday I would own a label. Right now I neither have an idea nor do I have the finance. Farfetched dream for now and like I said I believe if it is meant to happen it will.

   3.This is an everyday thought that comes back again and again. It is funny something as silly as this, is a difficult choice for me to make. What should I cook for dinner! Hughhhhhhh.

   4.I look in the mirror everyday and think Am I fat? Should I exercise? I never do! But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it every day. I keep thinking about starting to make an effort to be mindful about my health, especially since the big C scare a year back. Just not there yet.

  5.Off late I kind of wonder if deciding to delay starting a family is a good thing. Listening to everyone who is experiencing problems in this area, I am scared if I would find out the boat has sailed and regret it later. Fingers crossed!

   6.Remember when we were young, if we make a lot of errors on a page, we fold the page and write P.T.O? Well on some nights when I twist and turn trying to sleep, I go to these chapters in my life that I termed P.T.O and replay them. Dig up those skeletons from the past & then decide it was just a waste of time.

   7. “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” I often imagine travelling around the world. Someday I believe it will happen. I was so close to crossing out a few European countries from my list, and so I go over and over again how it would have been if not for those two surgeries, that kind of changed a lot for me.

It is very rare that you would catch me lost in thoughts, staring into space and not paying any attention to what you say. I do zone out a lot, but only when I have nothing to do. Like they say an idle mind is a devil’s workshop!  

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

10 Day challenge- Day 3

Winning my heart is not a herculean task. All it takes is a little bit of selflessness and going the extra mile to let me know I am important. Only if it was that simple, right?  There are always clauses attached to it.

1. Good looks may attract me but what is inside is what matters. It's best to be honest, genuine and transparent. I like that and expect no less.

        2.Pamper me with gifts and sweep me off my feet. Who doesn't love gifts, I love those that are personalized.  If you have put in lot of thought, and have succeeded in finding me one that I would cherish, your battle is half done.

            3.  I want the world to be boundless, limitless and I want to be able to be open to all kinds of possibilities & I Love to explore. If someone is as free-spirited as me, You would have me at ‘hello’. 

      4.   The way to my heart is through my mind. The key is communication. Being exciting and   knowledgeable on a variety of subjects interests me. I am happy with someone shares my intellectual curiosity and helps in expanding my world.

5.  Stimulate my senses. Visual sense, Take me to beautiful places. Sense of taste,Experiment with exotic food. Sense of listening ,I enjoy Music,its a mood changer for me.Sense of smell, It helps if you smell good. I know you are waiting for the next,Lets not get naughty now!I am married and a hug is all you can get. :P
  6. I am an individualist & dance to my own tune and like to carve an niche on my own in life, so permit me the freedom to find my own way. I am curious and full of ideas. I go well with someone who doesn’t ridicule that. (I should say I am lucky I have this in my partner).

 7. APPRECIATE. You have to let me know all your life that I am valued & important to you. If you will not make excuses and spend your time with me.And be there for me always UNCONDITIONALLY. You will have me forever.

8.If you think this is it, then here is the twist. I get bored of routines. I may have liked something and then again after a while I would be bored of it. So do the unpredictable. Stay loose. Sometimes, do something acceptable, but out of the ordinary, encourage me to join you. Make sure you aren't too conventional, or I might lose interest.

Easy right? ;) Just share my enthusiasm, Travel with me, be around when I want to lean on you, Stand up for me when I don’t, Explore with me, don’t ridicule, believe in me when I have given up, Support me when needed and let me know I can count on you and I may let you into my heart and life forever.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

10 Day Challenge - Day 2

Writing about yourself should be a cakewalk, I guess. But choosing only 9 out of the list is kind of tricky! Well if you think you are going to have me all figured out by this you’re completely wrong, because that is something I rarely allow. So these 9 is probably is no secret.

1. My freedom is always my priority as I don’t like to be told what to do and what not to. You can tell me what to do; chances are I’ll do it only if I want to. I like my space and I believe I give it to others as well. I don’t care to please. I live life my way and if you people don’t like me its mind over matter. “I don’t mind and you don’t matter to me”.

2. I may seem to have two personalities. One is very outgoing, funny and quirky. The other is shy, moody and antisocial. A serious side and a very funny side. I take time to warm up to people until then one gets to see only my serious side.

3. I do most things on an impulse. Be it deciding to buy a mobile, laptop, going on a trip, craving for food at midnight, if I want it, I need it the very next moment. End of story. I don’t mind doing something crazy, I don’t regret it, embarrassed, yes but never regret. I would rather live a life full of "oh wells" than a life full of "what ifs".

4. I may have a huge heart and much love to give, but am afraid to show my true feelings. I have a wall and don’t let people all the way in. So if I tell you how I feel, consider yourself lucky. It takes a lot for me to open up to someone.

5. When angered, I can become seriously rude, alternating between deafening silence and sudden outbursts of temper and finally in tears. Most people may think I am not sensitive, because that is what I want them to believe.

6. I am very observant and opinionated. I may notice and not mention it. And then there may be times when I wear my heart on my sleeves and go forward with my words

7. I give importance to trust. Losing my trust is like dropping a licked lollipop in the sand. It's a wrap. I will be so cold and detached. I may forgive you but will forget you exist.

8. I make no plans. I just go with the flow. I have no dreams to chase, but that doesn’t mean I am clueless. I just believe things would happen when it is meant to. That’s the only religion or faith I follow.

9. I love parties. I have no qualms about letting my hair down, having a drink, being silly and having the best time with my dear ones.

Long story short Respect me and I will respect you back. Love me and I will love you. Betray me and you will surly regret it.

Monday, March 10, 2014

10 Day Challenge - Day 1

I haven’t been a regular blogger. I usually don’t write just to post a blog each day; I only resort to writing, to vent out what I feel deeply about certain things in and around my life. So this is a first. I decided to take up this ten day challenge when I saw my friend Gitanjali writing for it (Check it out here). If I enjoy it maybe I'll try a few more.

So day 1 is ten different things you want to tell ten different people now. This one is actually difficult for me because I am not the kind who can hold back. When I have something to say, I would blurt it out right away to the person concerned. So coming up with something I haven’t said before was easier said than done.

After putting on the ‘thinking hat’ for quite some time and striking out sentences for a dozen times, here it is.

1. Dear Family: I recently saw August Osage County, and felt grateful for being born into this family. We may not be Family no 1, but our issues are meek compared to what is out there, and for that I feel blessed.

2.’X Chennai resident’ Friends: I hate goodbyes. The distance always does come in the way. I wish you guys dint have to leave. I miss not having you guys around.

3. To those in my Lost World: Well you are always remembered and will continue to be. There have been days that I feel like reaching out and sharing certain things because I think it is something you would understand and would relate to. But there is a reason behind why we are strangers today, so I let it be.

4. Galeej gang (seriously Guys? who came up with this name): It is sad we have come to this. I can’t imagine 4 years of togetherness has transformed to nothingness today.

5. The gal with cat eyes (you could have gotten a dragon tattoo would have sounded better!): Please pay attention to what I say. You deserve much more. And you never stop amazing me with your sarcasm. If you have plans to change that in you, don’t bother being my friend. :/ You are awesome the way you are, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

6. The only football player I know: Too bad you aren't around anymore to say 'Khamosh'.

7. One who claims I am his BFF: All you have is excuse; I am tired listening to them.

8. Crazies: My life would have been so boring without you all in it. Thank you. Just yesterday I was looking into the album Sandy made before I left to Pune. The personal messages page is my favorite, who doesn't like to be praised right? But two messages made me smile. One was from the new bridey who thought I taught her ‘how to live life for yourself’ and the other from a friend who said no matter the distance I would be her BFF(sounds silly but it made my day)and I am glad nothing has changed since then. Big fat ass on the other hand hasn't lived up to what he has written.

9. Big B: Why so serious? You used to be fun, loosen up!

10.Dear Hubby: I can’t leave you out can I? You have to know, don’t ever come home in the hope of finding chocolates and cakes. :) I don’t share them and I don’t rest till it is over. Sorry you will have to keep your stock where I can’t find them. :P

This is not me at my best, but hopefully I will do better with the others.